It is no gainsaying that most women
prefer dating men who appear confident and outspoken, not necessarily
because such men are better lovers, but partly because they exhibit an
aura of protection, safety and reliability for their spouses.
Notably, shy men may not be every woman’s
preference maybe because they appear calm and non-aggressive in
situations that demand absolute exhibition of their manliness, but it
now appears
that women who prefer dating the macho men to shy men may be
missing out on the best possible mate or the company of a better lover.
This is because studies have shown that men who are shy are better
lovers.
No doubt, the natural attraction of
females to ‘confident’ men has compelled some men to ‘come out of their
shell’ in order to impress women, more so because they sometimes have to
prove their masculinity with some bold and dramatic displays. However,
if the findings of these studies are anything to go by, women who are in
relationships with shy men should count themselves lucky for being in
the company of better mates.
Some biologists at the Plymouth
University, United Kingdom, found that men who shy the most do have the
most to offer their potential lover.
One of the researchers, Prof. Mark
Briffa, who is a marine animal behaviour scientist in the university,
likened men to hermit crabs, pointing out that the most timid or shy
crabs tend to have more high quality sperm, making them a better option
for females.
The findings of the study, published in
Daily Mail, revealed that crabs that spend more time in their shells
have invariably invested more time and resources in becoming
reproductively fit, saying their finding was in contrast with the idea
that the most productive individuals should be the boldest. Thus,
according to the study, shy men who may not readily talk spend more time
on things that could make them better, which invariably would make them
better lovers.
In some other reports to buttress the point that there are several benefits in dating a shy guy, a post on allwomenstalk.com
showed that the main challenge shy men have is that their spouses may
need to work harder to get some information out of them because they
usually do not readily share information about themselves. Also people
tend to have a wrong perception of who they really are. This is unlike
the ‘confident’ guy who would want to talk about his past, present and
future. The report added that the men who are ‘confident’ tend to be
more possessive and talk a lot about themselves. It added that such men
could put off some possible lovers with their actions for being too
forward and dominating conversations.
According to the post, shy guys are also
more sincere than the outspoken guys because they think deeply about
their words beforehand and are more careful in their expression than
those who are not and are usually ready to talk as soon as situations
present themselves. Also, shy men were found to be less intimidating
than their ‘confident partners’, who would want everyone around to feel
that they are more than they truly are. It added that shy guys who may
rarely talk would only talk when convinced and definite about what to
say and not to impress, noting that the ‘confident’ men would want to
introduce or advertise themselves at all times, which may not be the
true picture of who they truly are.
“They are considerate and are more likely
to consider the impact of their words and actions on their partner,
hence, making them a preferred spouse. Also, they are less likely to
cheat, not only because women tend not to consider them for relationship
but also because they focus their attention on more productive things
rather than chasing women,” it added.
For women who love rapt attention and a
listening man to talk to, no one does it better than shy men because
they usually don’t and are not always eager to dominate conversations.
Rather, they listen well and only talk when they feel like or when they
have something better or interesting to say. This, accordingly, implies
that shy men respect the feelings and opinions of others. According to
the post, shy men have been found to make valuable contributions in a
group discussion because they spend more time meditating, and are not in
a hurry to speak. Beyond these, it was also revealed that shy guys are
more receptive, all making them a better lover.
In summarising the benefits of dating a shy man, another report on amerikanki.com, said,
“It’s believed that girls tend to talk much more than guys, but every
now and then, even women need a person that can just keep silent and
listen to them. They want to talk more and be listened to and any man
who can afford them such would readily score some point.
“A shy man will never act artificially
and his words always correspond to his thoughts and women can be sure
that the shy guy means exactly what he says. Indeed, it’s a good reason
to date a shy guy.
“Shy guys aren’t so talkative and
probably most ladies will have to make great efforts to get along with
them, just that if such men choose to talk, they are sincere and their
words are meaningful and they don’t bother their partner with annoying
questions. Even if they have to reject people or their opinion, they do
it in a polite manner.
“These
imply that shy guys shouldn’t be ignored at all because dating a shy
guy is all about advantages and these are only a few of them. If you
want an attentive, careful person, dating a shy guy is definitely a
right idea, even if they are not the readily combat-ready men.”
Thus, the studies and posts pointed out
that a man with such traits as highlighted and discussed above tends to
be a better lover.
Commenting on the study, a professor of
psychology, Toba Elegbeleye, said shy guys could be categorised as
introverts, and that they are people who like to be quiet, studious and
alone, not for the fear of publicity but for them to exhibit their
internal qualities.
He pointed out that such people have
fantastic inner qualities and they usually believe that they are the
only ones that understand their personality better.
He said, “They are very hardworking and
intelligent people because they are able to explore all their internal
qualities. So, it may not be wrong if somebody concludes that they are
better lovers because they have the patience to live with and correct
their partners in love if there is need.
“Also, they can see what an ordinary
extroverted person won’t see because they pay attention to details, they
know more than they speak out, so, these may make them a good lover.
They may be able to accommodate all the inconsistencies that come from
their partner.
“They usually have internal resilience
that makes them consider issues several times before they take action,
and most of such actions cannot be faulted. These qualities may make
them better lovers.”
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